Seminary Conclusions.

Okay Okay Okay....

I know, you are all ashamed of me. I go and promise to update more, and then what happens? I disappear. I apologize. I know you are all so facscinated by my life, that you just have to know more about it. (That was sarcasm in case you didn't pick up on that.)

On a serious note however, my life has been uber busy lately. The past few weeks our office secretary has been ill, so I've been producing the bulliten and monthly newsletter (which takes a buttload of time, and has given me much more respect for my future church secretary). Also within the past few weeks, I've run worship on my own twice, because the pastor was gone, preached both times, and kept up with my other responsiblities.

About two weeks ago my Aunt in law died. She was 38. Yeah, it was hard. My uncle is devestated, as they really only had each other, family on both sides often gave them a hard time, and kept trying to break them apart, because they don't like the other ones family. I went home for a few days, because I needed to. I needed the closure of attending the wake and the burial, I needed to be there for my uncle, I needed to be with my family. My Aunt in law, was a sweetheart, she always had a smile, and I've never heard her say a mean word about anyone. She was passionate about animal rescue, and supported the human society. She was a peach.

I'm worried about my uncle though. He is broken now, and my grandparents don't really help him at all. They are emotional abusers, and are forcing them to move back into their house with them. This could possibly be the worst thing for him. In honesty, I'm afraid he'll commit suicide because of the two of them. I pray for him every day, and would ask that others do as well.

It makes me cry just thinking about being that deeply connected with someone, and then losing them. To have to go back to an emotional abuse situation, and to have lost the person you loved most in life, must be devesating. I wish there was more I could do for him, but hopefully his friends will step in and make sure he is supported. It seems as if they will do that, as they had spent a lot of time with him that week, and were trying to ease the transition.

This is really what has consumed most of my life recently, between preaching, working on church stuff, organizing my internship project, meetings, cleaning, taking care of Kallie (my dog), and trying to have a small social life, I've been busy.

I've also been in my head a lot recently. There are so many things to think about in the future, and often I just depress myself with thinking that there is a strong possibility that I will live a solitary life. *sigh* I know I'm only 23, but when in the hell am I going to have time to meet someone? Let's be honest, there isn't much understanding in the church that pastors need time to build relationships. There seems to be more understanding when you are married, that you need to spend time with your spouse and children, but for single pastors who are seeking relationships, I don't think many parishoners think about that. It's become an unhealthy system, and it needs to be broken, but then that takes even more time. I don't know, I'm just afraid to be alone forever I guess. Which I think is a valid fear.

On that depressing note....I'm outta here. I will try to write more often, but I make no promises.

posted by Dana @ 11:19 AM